Friday, October 18, 2002

Millenium Dome Falcon....

Yesterday in a restaraunt I was told the way of the restaraunteur. And despite being in a fairly high-class establishment, it was all in evidence. A simple tale: some mineral water is requested and we are by default presented with the largest most expensive bottle of mineral water rather than the normal sized one our individual's request deserved. Many would silently accept and it is those timid souls who give the incentive to the money-grabbing retailer. Order a 'well-done' steak in any restaraunt and you can expect to be cooked the limpest, oldest, most degenerate piece of steak in the kitchen. A former employer of one well known eatery (which for legal reasons shall remain nameless - clue: what day is it today?), tells me the bottle switch is a tactic dictated to staff by management. This trend permeates down through the whole of the industry. Go to any disreputable takeaway for a burger and you are almost guaranteed to have it promoted to a cheeseburger before you pay the money. Annoyance. The adding of a 1p slice of an unbelievably processed piece of cheese is translated into a 30 or 40p increase in the price of the burger. Which makes one wonder if all the products in the burger are marked up by thirty times... Then your mind turns to the meat. If only someone could invent a single pill that contained all the daily vitamins you needed plus the necessary fibre and protein, we'd be all set. Well, I'd be all set. I'd be able to fill up my stomach with all the crap I usually eat - but this time it'd be worry free. In fact I reckon I could just eat raw white bread and drink plain water everyday and there'd be no problems.

Wednesday saw the 17th Worldwide Anti-McDonald's Day. I thought the protesters were on to to something when I read that campaigners in Adelaide had offered shit to MacDonald's customers, but sadly the items were just vegan biscuits in the form of shit. At last an incisive commentary on the state of Vegan biscuits.

Spin the surrealist wheel of fortune.

And ask the sporefish something special.

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