Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Just got back from Bristol. There I bore witness to the hardest person I have ever met. A Hungarian named Rudy. I watched him putting fear into the eyes of Aikido black belts at my mate Dave's Aikido Dojo. He is in turn Godfather to the hardest 10-year-old I have ever met. No small child should be allowed to possess knowledge of the human body's pressure points. It's just too hard on his school friends. So there I sat in a Chinese restauraunt with 10 or so black belts, two of which are arguably the hardest proponents of their art in the country praying some local idiot would kick something off. Just so I could watch the ensuing carnival of martial artery. One of the idiots - sadly not dining with us that evening - was foolish enough to telephone a martial arts master to threaten him. The caller was asked to if he could come in to discuss the matter. And could he bring all his friends? This offer was politely declined. Again, if only I could have engineered such an event. Alas I must be made to wait once more...

The Phantom Mencap has been busy behind the scenes of Charging. He writes: "Whilst researching my essay on "Greeks and their Cars" for my Rude-Bwoys in Modern Society degree at Westminster Uni I stumbled across this link. It's comprehensive instructions on how to make your PC into the computer version of a suped-up Peugeot with tinted windows, under-car fluorescent lighting and massive wheel arches. Booyakashaaaa!!!!" PM also sent me a link to those pop lezzers photo galleries innit?

Meanwhile another mate, Wiggy, is running the marathon and in the process hopes to raise dosh for The Multiple Sclerosis Society. According to his site he has raised just £35 out of a hoped-for target of £1000, and £30 of that was put up by himself. I'm sure he's raised more offline that hasn't been proclaimed. Mybe he's going for the sympathy vote... Sponser him now (or just check out his mono-browed mug. If you find it offensive, report it here).

Monkeys singing "we like the moon". Honestly don't ask 'cos I don't know...

A cat puke diary. Christ knows why.

However I do know that those folks at b3ta have been doing it again. Create your very own rizla packet or play rock paper stripper with them at the helm.

Now read this site about the ancient art of penis reading. And if that's not all a bit too much, why don't you also check out the handily excellent and interactive Karma Sutra Flash site? Not really suitable for work that last one.... But definitely worth a look.

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

One of your number has demanded I link to this and to this. The first is an exaustive list of humorous and revealing war quotations through the ages, the second a website dedicated to the reporting of the news without a "distorted vision of the corporate media".

The sickest game ever to appear online. Shatteringly addictive though...

And in case I've pissed off the Israeli community: try out the falafal game. With thanks to Arseblog.

Vote in the third annual Weblog Awards. Sadly, but possibly without suprise, this site has been overlooked yet again. However Blogging Brits of which Charging is a member is up for Best Webring. I know I know...

Excellent site dedicated mainly eighties nostalga called X-Entertainment. Good stuff indeed. Another retro site can be found in the form of TV Party.

Monday, January 20, 2003

In addition to the previous entry here, please find this online keep the name 'The Two Towers' petition. Pointless of course as there's no question of it being changed, but the irony value is high and thus I am a signatory. With thanks to Phantom Mencap. Also see this.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS... (and so forth)

Speaking of petitions, I have received countless anti-war petitons which consist of a long list of names of people with the instruction to pass it on to everyone I know. Now it doesn't take more than a few seconds of thought to realise how pointless these things are. Even if we were to pretend that authorities actually take any notice of even well organised petitions, we should quickly realise that these particular ones are laughably irrelevant. Firstly the act of sending the petiton to everyone you know reproduces the petition countless times so that the first signatory may appear on thousands of copies and the last on just one. Secondly there is no verification process; I could sit down and make the entire list up. Please. Just give up. Definitely go here for a brilliant Middle East flash game which uses "sophisticated temporal algorithms and historical semiotic analysis" to guide you through the war.

For a legitimate peace petition to try and stop it all from happening, go here....

Or why not just spend your valuable time playing keyboard twister? Or learning cool Zippo lighter tricks?

This chap spent his time well: For five seconds of it he microwaved a CD. Then he placed said CD atop a tesla coil before photgraphing the results and placing them on the Internet for us all to enjoy together.


But here is the biggest time waster of all...............

PLAYSTATION 3 !!!!!!!! Aaaaahhhhh!

Monday, January 13, 2003

Site campaigning against LOTR The Two Towers being called "The Two Towers". I put it here not to encourage you to join this campaign, but merely to point and ridicule. Their reason for objection is simply "The name...will undoubtedly cause a return of the emotions felt on Sept 11th which left so many people in the nation feeling stunned and in a state of shock." A pretty bald list of grievances. One can only assume that the authors of said site have not heard of The Lord of The Rings Trilogy and are assuming this title is one invented since 2001 and not by an author in 1950's rural England. It is the film of the book after all.... Another thought occurs: isn't it a bit late?

Get a grip.

Here's a more sensible petition. This young chap is trying to get Arsenal FC to organise a testimonial game in tribute to the late David Rocastle and to raise money for cancer charities. You don't need to support the club to sign the petition, but as far as the fans are concerned, I cannot think of a more popular figure the club could dedicate a specially arranged game to. Go on. You know it makes sense.

Oh Rocky Rocky...

Saturday, January 11, 2003

What's the point of Bravenet? Every time I try to use a piccie I've uploaded to it all I get is:

I'm assuming here that you all were looking at a little red cross in a box there. Else you really can see the disco deathstar and everything happens to be dandy for you at the moment. Rest assured that usually it is an annoying little red bastard of a cross.

Now this is what you want from the Internet (apart from the vast sources of free porn): Learn to swear in over fifty languages! Includes the all-essential insult-generator. I''ve certainly bookmarked it...

In fact I'm pretty fussy with what I bookmark and rare is the day I bookmark two sites. Yet today's entry marks such an occurance. What a golden time this is... Second bookmarked site is The Underdogs. This site facilitates the downloading of classic and out of print PC games free of charge. Marvelous indeed my friends. Marvelous indeed.

Track the changing trends of 2002 on the 'net with the nifty Google Zeitgeist.

Sorry about this, but I thought you might like to peruse some art made from dead kittens. Nice.

Online Rubik's Cube you bored cunt.

Sunday, January 05, 2003

Aaaargghh! A ger-zillion emails to read.... And I must've seen, heard or read about equal numbers of sites which I can have no hope of ever visiting. I had a bloody rotten Christmas. My Ma was in hospital and two of my relatives passed on. Humph.

Luckily though the FA Cup cheered me up. What with Spurz embarrassing themselves on network telly and The Arse strolling ever onwards. The marvelous FA Cup traditions have been there again for all to see. Those being the complaints about how all the tradition has been lost and how the competition is being devalued. Life wouldn't be the same without all those moaning cunts pissing on the exuberance of a bunch of old fogeys under grey flat caps remembering the old days when their team lifted the ancient trophy in front of two hundred thousand respectful rattle-rolling fans at an early version of Wembley with leather footballs which weighed more than Billy Bremner after his second helping of Christmas pud. And happiness can be increased further with the knowledge that having paired the words cunt and pissing I will have no doubt increased my hit counter statistics no end as various dirty fucks come searching for close ups of womens vaginas as they urinate on the crushed masses below (or on Billy Bremner). The amount of times my swearing has lured in porn searching hoards is, well, I could say amazing, but I'll just settle for the somewhat anticlimactic interesting.

11 year old kid writes to every football manager and asks who they are going to buy. And he's a Gooner. Fair play to you boy!

Although I think I might have just left via an exit, check out this site. An archive of pictures of entrances that possibly lead to hell... There is even a radiation level taken at each site. Good stuff. But you'd better check in with the Forces of Darkness first.

Also: please visit the site of my mate Dave's Aikido Dojo. He is an Uchi Deshi which means he is on the road to becoming ridiculously hard. And Dave is going to be updating it occassionally so I said I'd give him a nod. If you don't know what Aikido or Dojo mean then visit the site whydontcha?