Thursday, May 19, 2005

The Force is a Tool of Satan! (Don't think it's serious though...)

Excellent bunny suicide cartoons...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I've been collecting quotations recently. One of my favourites is:
"Quantity has a quality all of its own."
- Joseph Stalin when describing his Red Army's chances against the German military machine.

I like to use it in everyday life.

My cab driver yesterday gave me another one...
"To women kindness means weakness" - Ronnie

Here are some more of the ones I like:

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." - H. G. Wells

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is." - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." - Sharon Stone

"If you are going through hell, keep going." - Sir Winston Churchill

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." - Frank Lloyd Wright

"Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steven Wright

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa

"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite." - Sir Winston Churchill

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein

"No one can earn a million dollars honestly." - William Jennings Bryan

"In the end, everything is a gag." - Charlie Chaplin

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." - General George Patton

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley

"Vote early and vote often." - Al Capone

"Hell is other people." - Jean-Paul Sartre

"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers." - T. S. Eliot

"Woman was God's second mistake." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.

"A witty saying proves nothing." - Voltaire

Navigate to this excellent world statistics site.

Meet The World

Saturday, May 07, 2005

So Labour got in again - at least we didn't see Michael Howard's smug face walking up Downing Street.

I'm increasingly of the opinion that the media is overly negative. There is much to be critical about; but that criticism is too often aimed in the wrong direction. However Jeremy Paxman's excellent interview with George Galloway deserves an honorable mention. Galloway probably gets mostly unfair publicity; he is not some maniacal anti-Western idiot like some would have you believe. However by standing in a consituency against a hardworking and benevolent MP simply because it is the place where he can take advantage of the racial tensions and ethnic makeup for electoral advantage is pretty low I think. Perhaps he thinks he's the best person to represent he sort of people in that constituency but he's not said as much and I wouldn't believe it on this occassion.

Here is the interview:

JP: We're joined now from his count in Bethnal Green and Bow by George Galloway. Mr Galloway, are you proud of having got rid of one of the very few black women in Parliament?
GG: What a preposterous question. I know it's very late in the night, but wouldn't you be better starting by congratulating me for one of the most sensational election results in modern history?
JP: Are you proud of having got rid of one of the very few black women in Parliament?
GG: I'm not - Jeremy - move on to your next question.
JP: You're not answering that one?
GG: No because I don't believe that people get elected because of the colour of their skin. I believe people get elected because of their record and because of their policies. So move on to your next question.
JP: Are you proud...
GG: Because I've got a lot of people who want to speak to me.
GG: If you ask that question again, I'm going, I warn you now.
JP: Don't try and threaten me Mr Galloway, please.
GG: You're the one who's trying to badger me.
JP: I'm not trying to badger you, I'm merely trying to ask if you're proud at having driven out of Parliament one of the very few black women there, a woman you accuse of having on her conscience 100,000 people.
GG: Oh well there's no doubt about that one. There's absolutely no doubt that all those New Labour MPs who voted for Mr Blair and Mr Bush's war have on their hands the blood of 100,000 people in Iraq, many of them British soldiers, many of them American soldiers, most of them Iraqis and that's a more important issue than the colour of her skin.
JP: Absolutely, because you then went on to say "including a lot of women who had blacker faces than her"
GG: Absolutely right, absolutely right. So don't try and tell me I should feel guilty about one of the most sensational election results in modern electoral history.
JP: I put it to you Mr Galloway that Nick Raynsford had you to a T when he said you were a "demagogue".
GG: Sorry?
JP: Nick Raynsford. You know who I mean? Nick Raynsford. Labour MP?
GG: No, I don't know who you mean.
JP: Never heard of him?
GG: I've never heard of Nick Raynsford, no.
JP: What else haven't you heard of?
GG: Well, I've been in Parliament a long time...
JP: He was a Parliamentary colleague of yours until very recently.
GG: Well, most of them just blend one into the other, Jeremy, they're largely a spineless, a supine bunch.
JP: Have you ever heard of Tony Banks?
GG: Yes I have, yes.
JP: Right, Tony Banks was sitting here five minutes ago, and he said that you were behaving inexcusably, that you had deliberately chosen to go to that part of London and to exploit the latent racial tensions there.
GG: You are actually conducting one of the most - even by your standards - one of the most absurd interviews I have ever participated in. I have just won an election. Can you find it within yourself to recognise that fact? To recognise the fact that the people of Bethnal Green and Bow chose me this evening. Why are you insulting them?
JP: I'm not insulting them, I'm not insulting you.
GG: You are insulting them, they chose me just a few minutes ago. Can't you find it within yourself even to congratulate me on this victory?
JP: Congratulations, Mr Galloway.
GG: Thank you very much indeed. [Waves, removes microphone]

Galloway gets ready for a fight.

Obviously I'm not feeling too bad about the economy. I just bought a digital SLR. Link: Ooh baby.

The Dullest Blog in the World.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Sometimes peoples failure to understand technology is a wonderful thing.

The Pentagon recently published a report about the shooting by the US forces of the Italian special agent who had just rescued a kidnapped journalist in Iraq. In true US style, there was a certain amount of censored information. Now, if you go to this PDF document which was pulled from the Pentagon website, select the text tool, select any of the censored text and paste into a Word document and you can view all!

Feline Crisis game!

Monday, May 02, 2005

What is it about the cinema that always has me sat next to the people who laugh at the jokes in the advertisements before the feature? They actually responded positively to a WKD ad! Now that's lack of taste. So it wasn't any surprise that these same people laughed all the way through the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Charging Through The Midfield's quick capsule review: visually good, vaguely entertaining, not many laughs. Maybe because I've heard and read all the jokes countless times before.

People who react positively to beer commercials lower the standards of the Earth so that the rest of us must suffer. If we were all only a little more discerning and cynical the standards would be forced upwards and our culture would move onwards at a nice steady pace.

Meanwhile the nation is still meandering forwards towards a general election which holds the people in a vice-like grip of boredom and asked to participate in an eternal struggle between the puppet on the left or the puppet on the right.

"I think the puppet on the left is more sincere than the puppet on the right... Wait a minute, the same man is holding them both. It's George W Bush! And wait. He's got a hand controlling him too! The puppeteer is a puppet!"

I especially like the way that lots of people aren't voting Liberal Democrats because, and I'm quoting many a person here, "They've got no chance of winning". Because, I don't know about you, I didn't know we got prizes for correctly guessing the correct party. What a great system. I though, you know, we all voted for the party that was closest to our actual views and then the most popular party would govern. The Liberal Democrats puppet hasn't been picked up yet - it's still lying on the floor. Maybe that's why we can't vote for it.

Do you like the way I went from an entry about the cinema to one about polical manipulation? Did you like that?

The Fwapometer... oh dear.

Kitten War