Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I just know that you have all been visiting this site every hour in the hope of intercepting this entry as soon as possible. Hmm, well, in actual fact it would be more accurate to say that I hope you are all visiting this site every hour. Sadly statistical feedback shows this has not been the case, lies and damn lies included.

It does strike me that, although all this tarot/blog business is an interesting notion, it is hardly the edge of the pants prose that every blogger dreams of publishing. However it was carried out and I would be a fool not to report what was carried out in the name of Charging Through The Midfield. After all my friends, this is OUR site. I freely admit at this point that making such a claim is a tactic used by large and occasionally malevolent corporations hoping to instigate rock solid customer loyalty. But I thought I might have a go as well. You and me folks, you and me.

Now if you have no interest in such activities, this entry might get a bit boring for the next handful of paragraphs so I’m hoping my efforts to induce a bit of 1980’s Marks & Spencer style customer loyalty will bear fruit. Interestingly, my mother’s hometown has a Marks & Spenser opening this very day; in fact the store is but 50 yards from our door. I’m betting that the human race is predictably petty and proud and the existence of a shop that seems to represent middle class suburbia somehow pushes up the house prices in the town.

Anyway, the scene: a large oblong wooden dining table in the ground floor of the extended part of my mother’s living room. The people present: my mother and I. The lighting: One 60 watt double fused ‘Ospram’ bayonet light bulb housed within a wooden and plastic pyramid-shaped shade (upside-down, natch) and connected to a dimmer facility. The back door window may have provided minimal amounts of contributory photons, however many more would have been contributed by a small table lamp approximately 20 feet away. It was not powerful enough to produce any noticeable shadows where we were sat.

Looked up 'photon', found this.
What is Disc Golf?

My mother passed me the tarot cards and I was asked to shuffle the pack and concentrate on my website and what I wanted to know. This reading was to concern itself with the relationship between this site and me. Expertly, I mixed up the cards, thus supposedly putting my energy into them. There are seventy-two different cards in a deck of tarot (my ma says these are split into two groups, major arcana and minor arcana. Not only have I possibly spelt the noun ‘arcana’ incorrectly, but I do not have a clue what it might mean so I’ll quickly move past this point) and the only card I expected to pull out was the solitary Death card – as I was planning radical changes and such a card would strongly indicate this. I was asked to pick a number between four and ten. I decided upon eight. Eight out of seventy-two cards gives me odds of nine-to-one against pulling out Death. For the record, a normal reading involves the subject shuffling the deck and all the cards are used.

The deck was fanned out upon the table in front of me and I randomly pulled out the following eight cards in the order stated: Ace of Cups, Seven of Cups, Death, Page of Wands, Knight of Swords, The Chariot, Strength, and Page of Cups.

Allow me to clarify the meaning of said cards (I say to myself during the writing of this, “remember the near-failure of Marks & Spencer, loyalty only lasts so long”): Ace of Cups represents love; Seven of Cups represents a confusion of a wealth of ideas; Death means change; Page of Wands represents the germ of an idea; Knight of Swords, rushing in; The Chariot tells me that I know where I am going; strength, well, this cards speaks for itself; and Page of Cups often means romance, but in this case represents the growth of a fondness for the site.

I think these explanations give one a good idea of the reading already. But a brief account of what I was told is thus: Charging Through The Midfield is a labour of love, but I am not sure in which direction to take it. I have a wealth of ideas and I love my site, however there is change afoot. A single idea will come through and I will steer it successfully with love.

I have said it before and I will say it again; I am a cynical bastard. I don’t believe any of this stuff for a second. Obviously my Mum takes it seriously and I respect that, but it seems to me that – although the reading you have perused here is but a brief version of the words my mother would have spoken to me – it is all a bit vague. Much like a tabloid newspaper’s star sign reading, the meaning seems to apply itself with a broad brush. The change/death thing however is fairly on the money I must admit, but its appearance proves nothing of course. Is this site a labour of love? Love is perhaps a bit of a strong concept, though it is an overused word and in this case is associated with a certain selection of cards that need to be applied within a particular context; so I cannot hold that against tarot.

'Broad Brush': born 1983; 197th Chef-de-Race; possibly corn-fed.

Saying I have a wealth of ideas is both right and wrong. Often I write about nothing – I agree that this is often because I simply plot a course between separate jungles of thought, however it could be argued that I have a deficit of relevant ideas. I do get lots of ideas though. For instance I have just considered the unlikely notion that words could be translated into smell. This was because I had begun to write the words: “the phrase ‘I will steer it successfully with love’ would make me retch should it ever be converted into a smell.”

Yes there is change afoot, but I believe I do know which direction I will take Charging, which is contrary to the cards claim that I do not. Again, I am not willing to say what this change will be. There are several good reasons for this, which will undoubtedly become apparent later. In the meantime, I will push onwards with my continuing attempts to build that beautiful relationship between us, my dear, wonderful readers. This is our site my good friends. Ours, not mine. I won’t abandon it if you wont.

Actually, screw this. I don’t want the sort of reader who is going to fall for this crap. In many ways George Lucas made an important point when he invented the concept of Jedi Mind Trick. Think of the Jedi as large corporations trying to get you to think certain things. Only weak-minded fools would allow themselves to fall sucker to the Mind Trick and it is the same here. You should come here because you want to, not because I have coaxed you in with cheap words. Anyone who felt a nice warm sense of belonging after reading my words of welcome should fuck off. I don’t want your rudimentary minds here.

Top 25 Censored Media Stories of 2001 -2002.

Very very big picture.

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