I've recently been taking more notice of the SPAM coming into my mailbox recently. Mainly because I ocassionally get one that nips at my humour gland - although at this point it may be worth pointing out that I have an extremely obscure sense of humour. The Nigerian scam emails have also been particularly frequent recently. Usually these come in the form of written pleas apparently from an individual who has a great deal of money and wants a foreign bank account to house it in. You are supposed to send back your phone or fax numbers and other details. Anybody idiotic enough to furnish them with such information will then presumably be pressured into providing their bank details before then deservedly having all their money taken from them.

So in a blatant attempt to bunk off from actually writing anything I am reproducing one I got from a Nigerian scamster (or someone posing as a Nigerian? - surely not) who believes I am a devotee of God. BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!

Clearly they don't think this, they simply got my email address from a list on a CD being sold be some cunt somewhere making profits from annoying people and clogging up a technology that might be liberating and essentially without cost for years to come if not for these bastard types who threaten such a hope with their self-serving avarice.

Dear Beloved,

It is a privileged to hear from God and it gives me joy to relate my testimony to you haven received instruction from God through divine revelation. And I have the pleasure to share my testimony with you, having seen your contact from the Internet. I am barristar john hall the legal adviser to late Mr. David Duke couple that lived in my Country Nigeria for 32 years before they both died in the plane crash late last year. These couples were good Christians, they so dedicated to God but they had no child till they died. Throughout their stay in my country, they acquired a lot of properties like lands, house properties, etc.

As their legal adviser, before their death, the husband Mr. David Duke instructed me to write his WILL. Because they had no child, they dedicated their wealth to God. According to the WILL, the properties have to be sold and the money be given out to a ministry for the work of God. As their legal adviser, all the documents for the properties were in my care. He gave me the authority to sell the properties and give out the fund to the Ministries for the work of God.

In short, after their death, I sold all the properties as instructed and I was able to realized $16million US dollars). Instead of giving the fund out for the work of God as instructed by the owner before his death, I converted the fund to myself with the intention of investing the fund abroad for my personal use. I was afraid of putting the fund in the Bank, because I have to give account to the bank on how I got the money. I then packaged the fund in a trunk boxes and deposited the trunk boxes with a security company. I did not want the management of the Security Company to know the content of the trunk boxes, therefore I registered the content of the trunk boxes as Gold Bars. Now, the security company believes that what I deposited with them was Gold Bars.

I had encounter with Christ when Pastor Paul was preaching the word of God on television. After hearing the word of God, I gave my life to Christ and became a born again Christian. As a born again Christian, I started reading my bible and one day, the Lord opened my eyes and I discovered that the only way I could have peace in my life is to do what is lawful and right by giving out the fund as instructed for the work of God by the owner before his death. I have asked God for forgiveness and I know that God have forgiven me. But I have to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God by giving out the fund to the chosen ministry for the purpose of God's work as instructed by the owner before his death.
After my fasting and prayers, I asked God to make his choice and direct me to a honest Christian or the chosen ministry that deserves this fund by his Grace. I then came across your address on the Internet as I was browsing through a Christian site, so this is how I got your contact information, and I then decided to contact you for the fund to be used wisely for things that will glorify the name of God.

I have notified the Security Company where I deposited the trunk boxes that contained the fund, that I am moving the boxes abroad and the security company has since been waiting for my authority for the boxes to leave my country and move to abroad. So if you know that you will use this fund honestly for things that will glorify God's name, then do urgently contact me back first through this my private email address only and the details will be given to you on how you will be able to receive the fund in your country through the security company.

You should also forward to me your telephone and fax number for easy communication and to fax you the documents concerning the trunk boxes. Your prompt response will be highly appreciated.

Yours in Christ.

Barrister john hall


It is particlarly terrible for a person to be attempting to make money on the back of people religious convictions, but obviously these fraudsters think that religious types are particularly gullible! Clever...

I was tempted for a long time to send back the words "Fuck off!" only I didn't want to confirm that my email address was an active one - I might have ended up receiving stupid amounts of SPAM otherwise. Anyway, this sort of scam is reported to be Nigeria's third to fifth largest industry!

Anyway, I thought I would provide some links regarding this subject:

The 419 Coalition.

Snopes deconstructs the Nigerian scam email.

Nigerian Scam letter gallery.

Dumb NIgerian Con-Artists

Ebola Monkey Man gets revenge on Nigerian Scamsters!