Grrrr... I just wrote loads here only for my cunting computer to close all my open windows, thus losing all my good work. The offending website is Secret Santa, a site that asks you to identify the celebrity behind the long white beard. It wasn't the site really, it was the Shockwave installation I had downloaded to view it kicking off. I was in fact just writing my tirade against Christmas, so it was particularly apt that a Chrimbo related site should undo all my good anti-Christmas work. Despised Christmas occurances included: bloody kids running about pissing everybody off; rampant commercialism aimed at attempting to convince you into buying items you rightly detest; such as compilation videos featuring out-takes of sporting events and presented by some less than talented psuedo-celebrity who you can't quite name because you are unable to dislodge the word "cunt" from your every thought; the mere possibility of wandering into or near a shopping centre during December; having to put up with twice as many idiots on the streets - both pedestrians and motorists; traffic, traffic everywhere; Christians attempting to somehow wring some deep and unclear religious meaning from a festival they know fully well contains none whatsoever; pantomimes; people wanting it to snow; Christmas trees and their pines; jolly fucking cunts dressed in the Coca Cola corporate colours; the media rubbing it into those without family; Cliff fucking Richard; any other Christmas songs; hundreds of pointless cards that people buy in packs of fifty and waste your time, and your shelf space should you not find the wastepaper bin first like I do; the need to spend money buying presents that people would rather not get and receiving presents you'd rather burn rather than just spending the money on yourself in the first place and ending up with stuff you actually want; brussel sprouts; and Disney. Bloody Disney.



Slightly clever and fairly funny Advent Calender.

Write about a random word for one minute. Warning: this website asks you not to think.

Read with mirth as Graham Douglas takes on a Nigerian e-mail faudster.

404 page poetry



Pretty cool: Museum of Hoaxes

Brilliant Ralph Wiggum Soundboard: "I bent my wookie..."