Yes. Clearly here contains lack of activity.
Thanks to the one punter who arrived here via Yahoo after searching for 'free pics of rotton pussy'. Seasons greeting guvnor. Normal service will, of course, resume shortly. There has been much bi-directional candle burning including the eating of burst liver of tortured goose. So excuse the apparent laziness. Laziness it is not I assure you all. As I've previously said, I bloody hate Christmas. And then it is immediately followed by the lunacy that is the New Year sales.

Bastards.

Ah. Failure to update site. Bad. Presence at LOTR movie. Good. Next to us sat bloke with laptop. Ah, the Internet...

There are several films I want to take in at the pictures this Christmas; however first on the list is a reshowing of the Two Towers. Gollum is just terrific. The Oscar people are going to have to invent a new category for CGI characters (I freely admit this is Jonathon Ross' idea). Not wanting to ruin, but check out this site devoted to the mistakes made at the movies. Two Towers, it claims, contains 48 inconsistancies. Mmm, I think I prefer reading the list of films I'm a bit more indifferent to. At time of writing, Two Towers is ranked at 54 in the nicely fussy Internet Movie Database.

This blokes a nutter! He sings karaoke into a webcam in his car that have been requested to him. He's stopped taking requests now but leaves behind a fine archive of material.

Canibal advertises for food, man replies, gets eaten. And Darwin laughs from his spot on high....

Meanwhile, Yahoo! has have picked their top websites of 2002, whilst the word Dragonball has become the most searched word on the Internet, actually managing to oust sex from top spot. Although I'd suggest that is more due to surfers becoming more sophisticated and realising that the entries under sex yield nothing but arse (and not good arse either, oh no. Arse as in shit. And I don't mean scat either you dirty-minded tissue-papered google-eyed fucker). I'm betting that porn searching still takes up the overwhelming majority of Web searches though.

Rather excellent Lord of The Rings site, including deecent Mines of Moria game... Got my tickets for Wednesday thankyouverymuchindeed. Sad? Oh yes. But that's why it's so good. If it tried to be cool and trendy, it'd probably be a pile of wank. LOTR is, by nature, sadness. But it's exciting sadness. Also sadness would be to identify with this Star Wars flash thingy made in the style of an Apple Mac ad.

Whuuur! The Tesseract. Check out this interactive 4-dimensional thingy-me-jig.

Cool. List of the hottest sauces in the world.

Grrrr... I just wrote loads here only for my cunting computer to close all my open windows, thus losing all my good work. The offending website is Secret Santa, a site that asks you to identify the celebrity behind the long white beard. It wasn't the site really, it was the Shockwave installation I had downloaded to view it kicking off. I was in fact just writing my tirade against Christmas, so it was particularly apt that a Chrimbo related site should undo all my good anti-Christmas work. Despised Christmas occurances included: bloody kids running about pissing everybody off; rampant commercialism aimed at attempting to convince you into buying items you rightly detest; such as compilation videos featuring out-takes of sporting events and presented by some less than talented psuedo-celebrity who you can't quite name because you are unable to dislodge the word "cunt" from your every thought; the mere possibility of wandering into or near a shopping centre during December; having to put up with twice as many idiots on the streets - both pedestrians and motorists; traffic, traffic everywhere; Christians attempting to somehow wring some deep and unclear religious meaning from a festival they know fully well contains none whatsoever; pantomimes; people wanting it to snow; Christmas trees and their pines; jolly fucking cunts dressed in the Coca Cola corporate colours; the media rubbing it into those without family; Cliff fucking Richard; any other Christmas songs; hundreds of pointless cards that people buy in packs of fifty and waste your time, and your shelf space should you not find the wastepaper bin first like I do; the need to spend money buying presents that people would rather not get and receiving presents you'd rather burn rather than just spending the money on yourself in the first place and ending up with stuff you actually want; brussel sprouts; and Disney. Bloody Disney.



Slightly clever and fairly funny Advent Calender.

Write about a random word for one minute. Warning: this website asks you not to think.

Read with mirth as Graham Douglas takes on a Nigerian e-mail faudster.

404 page poetry



Pretty cool: Museum of Hoaxes

Brilliant Ralph Wiggum Soundboard: "I bent my wookie..."

Marvelous. Following Thursday's link to Amazon and "Customers who shopped for this item also shopped for these items...", comes an article detailing Amazon's embarrassment concerning aforesaidmentioned. Had you read the Comments of course, you would know this already. Nice 'un Al.

Toaster-tastic!: "This page features pictures of adults in sexual situations with kitchen appliances. If you are under the age of 87 (142 in Estonia, Khazakstan, Kyrgyzstan, Australia and the US states of Utah and Texas) and or are offended by pictures of rotherham / shirebrook / woodhouse / terrace road slags with kitchen appliances please LEAVE NOW. The author takes no responsibility for genital burns caused by attempts to reproduce the acts shown here."

I need say no more.


The mums guide to footy. Or rather the "Mom's Guide to Soccer"... Americans: grrr...

Um... er... did this really happen?

CNN has asked it's viewers to submit designs for a new World Trade Centre. Although some designs are a bit odd.



Glen Hoddle's Homepage. I kiss you!

Whoa! Early Optical Camoflage. Clothing that mimics the stuff behind it. I'm sure this stuff's gonna be refined and used extensively. It'll lead to the mother of all crime waves before triggering a boon in the infra-red security business. Buy your shares early my friends.

My word. Check out this ridiculously strong magnet on ebay. Decent.

he he he...

This is also pretty cool: Halfbakery. Site dedicated to speculative but original fictional inventions. Such as Flocking Road Cones, "Smart Road Cones that look after themselves."

Ah, the Internet: Customers who shopped for this item also shopped for these items...

Thanks to a, um, masturbatory acquaintance, I present to you every single Playboy Centerfold from 1953 to the present. Yum.

Saw the new James Bond film Die Another Day last week. Not bad, but hardly a classic. They've managed to completely dump all the style and class from the Bond series that made the sixties and seventies films the cults they are now. Die Another Day is simply an action film nothing less... but nothing more. And only a competent one at that. So why not cheer yourself up?. Nobody does it better... Class.

Also aimed for your joylobes is this animation featuring every single thing referenced in Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire. However, it's the chatty commentary that makes it.

Now check this out. Having spent years looking at the same static visual tricks printed in countless publications, it's nice to see one designed for the Internet. Expect this sort of thing to become increasingly common (eventually you'll become sick of these too).



Also this week, students in Michigan have claimed to have built the world's first anti-gravity machine for the Metro-Detroit Science Fair. Dubious? Check out the video for yourself. Personally I'd like to see them testing it outdoors where there is less possibility of fiendishly situated wiring. Talking about wierd-arse flying gizmos, check out this page of UFO sightings in Medieval art and this article.

Chap who went to see preview of the Two Towers film and kept getting interrupted by MTV. Ha ha, serves him right for getting to see it before me. What did he expect at a special MTV screening? Personally I can't wait for the 45 minute battle scene. Oh. Fucking. Yes.

Kikkoman Ha ha ha....

Truely excellent online racing game in the style of Wipeout.