Today I bring to you the startling news that heart pacemakers are exploding when their owners are cremated. Of a survey of 241 British crematoriums; more than half reported pacemaker explosions, including blasts powerful enough to blow off oven doors and cause hundreds of thousands of pounds' worth of damage.

Next is a story that tells of shirts that turn losers into hot babe magnets. One can only hope we are on the verge of a new age.

Meanwhile, the revelation that even my girlfriend doesn't look at this site doesn't exactly bode well. As no-one would have noticed, I've put a hit counter at the bottom of the page. Some of my mates have reasoned that if I had something to say, I could just tell them to their face. Otherwise I should just direct them to here if they asked me a question. Bah.

The Simpsons showing a love for the film Pulp Fiction can be found here and here. Marvelous.