I just did a shit that looked like a Geiger painting.

It's the first thing I've done worth posting about since June.

Classic extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness."

Hungerford Bridge

Hungerford Bridge, originally uploaded by Obi Wan Yacobi.

And autumn descends...

I've been updating. There are some reasons for this:

Firstly, I'm doing a 9-5 job in front of a computer and don't have time at work to update; and I don't exactly feel like spending more time in front of a PC to write stuff in addition to that.

Secondly, my mate Chris' blog is making me feel like mine is shit xompared to his nice fresh site.

And thirdly, the last thing I was going to write was after I managed to get a face value ticket for England's Fourth cricket Test against Australia on the Saturday on the morning of the game - but I was so worried I'd give away the technique I used that people might read it and guzump me at the Oval. So I waited before I printed it, and then it was just too much of a delay and I've never recovered my nerve.

I learnt a valuable lesson learnt from that day in Nottingham: all ticket touts, nasty souless scavanging fucks that they are, are Chelsea fans.

That's a truth that should be universally acknowledged.

Quite marvelously, people are finding the new header atop this page quite scarey.

What I find scarey is the number of chaps around London wearing pink nowadays. Now this isn't a homophobic thing, it's just that men shouldn't wear pink. This is of course typically London - probably some sort of post-modern ironic thing, or the reclaiming of the colour. An understated male reaction by males who have grown up knowing nothing but female liberation and pushes for inequality and finding their world doesn't really favour men at all anyway.

But it still looks ridiculous.

Almost as ridiculous as the official moustache of Portugese cricket that I have ocassionally been sporting.

But that's another story (as people who regularly update their websites often say)...

Photoshopped

Photoshopped, originally uploaded by Obi Wan Yacobi.

You can tell I was really quite bored one day.

Not now however. I'm working very hard in my new job and hardly have any time to get paid to surf the internet...

Bah.

Bike shed

Bike shed, originally uploaded by Obi Wan Yacobi.

This bike was in my Mum's bike shed. Is it mine? I can't remember.