Went to Ireland. Got back. Shortly before stomach decided to evacuate itself of all matter from all available orrifices. Twas rather unpleasant let me tell you.

Unlike Ireland which was rather pleasant. During our stay a whole bunch of us were dancing along drunkenly in a very large pub indeed and on came, amongst other tunes, Barry Manilow's "Copa Cabana". To which I couldn't help be reminded of a rather pleasant - nay genius - alternative Star Wars version sent to me on a mini-disc by my mate Chris two or three years back. Cue enthusiastic attempts to shout/sing aforsaidmentioned alternative lyrics as loudly and as noticeably as possible - as one might do when they believe they possess what they believe to be the greatest most important information in the immediate universe...


Star Wars Cantina

Her name is Leia, she was a princess
With a danish on each ear, and Darth Vader drawing near
So R2D2 found Ben Kenobi
And he had to get the plans into the Rebellions hands
So Luke and Obi-Wan had to get to Alderaan
So they stepped into Mos Eisley to have a drink with Han

CHORUS:
At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a
At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina
Music and blasters and old Jedi masters
At the Star Wars Cantina

His name is Solo, he was a pilot
With a blaster at his side, and a smile 12 parsecs wide
He knew Chewbacca, he was a Wookie
And he spoke with Obi-Wan about the Millenium Falcon
Docking bay 94, stormtroopers at the door
With a flash of Ben's lightsaber, there's an arm on the floor!

REPEAT CHORUS

His name is Yoda, he was a Muppet
Darth Vader was so bad (Oh, by the way, he's Lukes dad)
Luke kissed his sister, his hand got cut off
In that galaxy far, far 'way, Luke has had a lousy day
Boba Fett was so mean, Jabba had bad hygiene
Why couldn't they all just relax back on Tattooine

REPEAT CHORUS



Obviously, I couldn't remember much of it so the actual effect was to be heard only during various bits of the chorus. Nevermind eh? The Phantom Mencap, God bless his little Lord of the Rings underwear, found this site which revealed this and many other Star Wars
ditties, including the ever-essential Bohemian Rhapsody version. Even more excitingly, PM then went one better and actually found the site hosting the wave file for Star Wars Cantina. It's sheer genius (if you forgive the rather obvious Guinness reference) and definitely worth a download. It's the little samples lifted from the film that really make it.

Download directly from here if you like...

This song has been around for donkeys years, but our little escapade has caused many to start sending round this information to all they know. Will I get a returned email with this info on, from some distant Internet friend showing the Internet to be circular? Or do we have a linear Web?


The Circle Line Party reported by Charging took place as planned and, yay, it went marvelously well. It was even reported in The Guardian by gum!




Be a zombie in a film! "Shaun of the Dead" is the film and they are looking to turn an army of extras into an army of terror zombies. Follow the link then follow the instructions and you can have your head blown to pieces on celluloid. They are looking for zombies of all ages and so one cannot help but feel that, considering the medium they're using to advertise this, there will be an abundance of applications from white male twenty somethings...

Woah excellent! Action Comic No1. The entire first Superman comic scanned and available to peruse for free.

Now please remember that I have been ill and I am a very tenderised boy indeed. I will return soon for a more proper round up of times. I off to big protest now.