Just got back from Bristol. There I bore witness to the hardest person I have ever met. A Hungarian named Rudy. I watched him putting fear into the eyes of Aikido black belts at my mate Dave's Aikido Dojo. He is in turn Godfather to the hardest 10-year-old I have ever met. No small child should be allowed to possess knowledge of the human body's pressure points. It's just too hard on his school friends. So there I sat in a Chinese restauraunt with 10 or so black belts, two of which are arguably the hardest proponents of their art in the country praying some local idiot would kick something off. Just so I could watch the ensuing carnival of martial artery. One of the idiots - sadly not dining with us that evening - was foolish enough to telephone a martial arts master to threaten him. The caller was asked to if he could come in to discuss the matter. And could he bring all his friends? This offer was politely declined. Again, if only I could have engineered such an event. Alas I must be made to wait once more...

The Phantom Mencap has been busy behind the scenes of Charging. He writes: "Whilst researching my essay on "Greeks and their Cars" for my Rude-Bwoys in Modern Society degree at Westminster Uni I stumbled across this link. It's comprehensive instructions on how to make your PC into the computer version of a suped-up Peugeot with tinted windows, under-car fluorescent lighting and massive wheel arches. Booyakashaaaa!!!!" PM also sent me a link to those pop lezzers photo galleries innit?

Meanwhile another mate, Wiggy, is running the marathon and in the process hopes to raise dosh for The Multiple Sclerosis Society. According to his site he has raised just £35 out of a hoped-for target of £1000, and £30 of that was put up by himself. I'm sure he's raised more offline that hasn't been proclaimed. Mybe he's going for the sympathy vote... Sponser him now (or just check out his mono-browed mug. If you find it offensive, report it here).

Monkeys singing "we like the moon". Honestly don't ask 'cos I don't know...

A cat puke diary. Christ knows why.

However I do know that those folks at b3ta have been doing it again. Create your very own rizla packet or play rock paper stripper with them at the helm.



Now read this site about the ancient art of penis reading. And if that's not all a bit too much, why don't you also check out the handily excellent and interactive Karma Sutra Flash site? Not really suitable for work that last one.... But definitely worth a look.