Excellent Peanuts comic strip.

Currently on the 'net are rumours abound regarding our Mr Beckham, Michael Owen's sister and Posh's opinion of it all. It's got to be bollocks - thanks to Al for the tip though.

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha....


Bwaaaaaarrrgghh!!!


Make sunglasses out of toilet paper.

This bloke makes matchhead sculptures. Pretty cool.

The Nine Hundred Club. Gawp at the world's heaviest people.

My failure to update this blog as much as I would like is due to my murderous activities in the new Grand Theft Auto: Vice City game (and LOTR Two Towers game. And LOTR Fellowship of the Ring Extended Edition DVD. And Clone Wars DVD. Oh yes.) So whether this online pixilated take on killing pedestrians is a good thing or not is yet to be judged. Meanwhile, if you don't shoot 'em, they'll bugger you up the arse! Excellent if unpolitically-correct shockwave game. And also try the classy, if slightly boring, online battleships. And of course there's always cat bowling.

Speaking of cats, the cutest weblog on the 'net has come to my attention, although also often a tragic one. Connie fosters sick kittens and keeps a diary of their progress. I don't think she'd appreciate cat bowling though.

unclaimed corpse's go online

sad lego sculptures

Also, a satellitte orbiting Mars has found tubes on the surface. Interesting...

Face found on Mars

Here's a site dedicated to the Webmaster's hatred of the game of football (typically he calls it 'Soccer'). The hate mail is definitely worth a look; one correspondant correctly sums it up: "Overall, a good laugh sir. Even if its at your expense."

Some websites do get my heckles up sometimes, so the idea of being able to Graffiti The Web appeals. Add your mark. Meanwhile in the classical style we have all come to admire, from b3ta comes.... gash or 'tash... More testing matters can be found at the hoax photo contest which carefully tests your visual abilities. Only when you score full marks in level one can you proceed to two and included are some classic images which have appeared on the Internet recently.

The USA has got to be by far the oddest country on the Earth. The current debate, raging it's way from coast to coast is the eternal question: What would Jesus drive? This is after a major advertising campaign by evangelical and green groups aimed at persuading Americans to step out of their gas guzzlers (and stop producing half of all the world's polution). It is best summed up at the site www.whatwouldjesusdrive.com which states:

This isn't the evangelical anti-SUV website.... They believe Jesus would drive a fuel-efficient vehicle. I take photographs of toys in fucked-up situations. There's a subtle, yet important, difference.

Good links on his site as well. Actually that's pretty much all this site consists of, plus a couple of odd pictures. Remind you of another site? Good though.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand.... Ask an American what they think Jesus would drive and they remark what a good question it is (they do, I saw it on telly last night). Ask a Brit and they will present you with a look that is a mixture of amusement and bewilderment (I know because I asked one). This issue, I believe, beautifully encapsulates the differences between the peoples of the two countries in question.



Office Bored Games Not just dodgy online games; games that involve, for instance, cutting little snowboarding figures out and chucking them off the back of your monitor! Must be good....

The Eye! The Eye!

Well, this is more than a little sad: a chap who will give $10,000 to whomever introduces him to the person he proposes to. And this girl will unveil naked pictures of herself if she gets enough donations to get her out of her $10,000 debt. Hmm, I think I've had an idea...

Meanwhile, for those of us with less ambition, and in the same spirit as realdoll - the realistic female with with all the necessary in and outy bits, comes realhampster; "the world's finest buggering hampster". Something tells me this isn't entirely serious.

Grr, my 'pootah has been showing some bewilderingly annoying symtoms. Mainly involving the utter failure to let me use it. Hence my lack of activity here.

Expect a less than regular service for a wee while. Bah.

I have taken out my anger on the pages of Vent, however I'm wondering whether they will post it up as they don't allow a category for computing. However I'm still interested in cool computer mods - namely a goth computer case... (It ushers you in with one hand and slaps you with the other doesn't it? My fury silently grows in an unknown part of me.)

For all you work people who like to sneekily surf the Internet instead of actually earning your hourly wage, why not check out Ghostzilla? It makes web pages look like a Word document and allows you to switch off that contentious page with a flick of your (well exercised) wrist. You sneeky fucks. If you do have to surf at work, I may as well point you towards caught@work. Smooth.

Last time we bought you Voluntary Human Extinction. Today, prepare yourselves for.... Masturbate For Peace !!!!




If nothing else, the bumper sticker suggestions page is worth a look on its own....



Be the highest bidder buy God! You can now buy God on Ebay. And there's no reserve price!

Oh Sandwich. Oh precious sandwich...

Importantly, you can speedily* find out why cats enjoy eating earwax.




*The word 'speedily' refers to the efficiency of your modem. Considering this is a link to a text only page, you can expect this to be as quick as fuck. Although not as quick as you would like no doubt. Nothing's ever good enough is it? Frustrated with your microwave are yer?

A site called the No Apologies Press recently planted a personal ad on a dating website and monitored the response. The ad read:

"I'm looking for a 23-40-year-old guy... I'm a 35-year-old, attractive blonde. Not looking for anything beyond a physical relationship right now... No pic? Don't even bother."

The response was reliably shocking. Many thought pictures of their cocks would seal the deal. One sent in a pic of his pink sword alongside a can of coke and a ruler presumably for scale's sake. However a "cute, built (married) Asian guy" remarked "I like the no-strings attached requirement because that's the only kind I can have." His photo included his wife. See the whole sorry mess here.

Since the South Korean government has lifted it's ban on 8,100 domain names that it feared could be used for sexual reasons dotcom fever has raised it's inevitably temporary head. www.sex.co.kr was the most requested domain with 58,000 applicants. Unfortunately the internet boom is more of a bust in Ireland. There have been only 2,000 installations of broadband in the whole country. Ireland offline is campaigning to get it back on track.

Meanwhile, find out what your workmates call you behind your back.

Watch the The Prime Number Shitting Bear in amazement.

Why not join the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement? I feel they have an interesting point, in that they think the answer to the world's problems is to slowly kill off the human race: "The hopeful alternative to the extinction of millions of species of plants and animals is the voluntary extinction of one species: Homo sapiens... When every human chooses to stop breeding, Earth's biosphere will be allowed to return to its former glory, and all remaining creatures will be free to live, die, evolve (if they believe in evolution), and will perhaps pass away, as so many of Mother Nature's 'experiments' have done throughout the eons. Good health will be restored to the Earth's ecology... to the "life form" known by many as Gaia." Oh dear...



Failing that, simply just live out the entirity of your days online instead with The Simulator. Excellent.

Ah yes of course. The Phantom Edit and associated stuff. Star Wars The Phantom Menace was so weak and shit (and compared to the original three unbelievably weak and shit), more enlightened souls got together to recreate the film minus the annoyance of a small child acting like a brat and a cartoon character created to sell pencil cases and backpacks to pre-schoolers. This isn't new information of course. The Phantom Edit has been an established alternative since just after the world's heckles were raised by the unbelievable shitness of the Phantom Menace. However Charging Through The Midfield is much newer than that, and a friend just emailed me this particular link. So poo to you.

Having said all that, Episode II was much more of a masterpiece. An effects driven one admittedly; and Monday marks the date of the DVD release. This is alongside the Lord of the Rings Special Edition and the Once Upon a Time Trilogy. Oh yes.

After bringing you Simon Swears (can't be arsed to provide link), please now look towards a swearing xylophone!!! Not particularly suitable for work if you have your speakers turned up though. Then again, that all depends on your office I suppose. 'Tis very good anyway...

NASA have put a camera on a Space Shuttle speeding into space. Click here to download the 2Mb movie file and get a bird's eye view so to speak....




This site rules!: Download old Atari, Amiga, C64 etc games for your PC. But possibly even better for girlies is the news that Playstation have released a game with a vibrator! Ah. The rise of technology...

Also ruling is the site that lets you design your own lego person!

Molecules with ridiculous names.

Cat hate: my cat hates you dot com

Plump or bump? Can you identify the pregnant from the fat-arse?

Bah. Lots of effort needed to update blogs.



Chipmonk takes a bong

These blue words link to a site dedicated to the many many many very very very stupid people there are in the world and their interactions with the world of computing. eg:

Customer: "I can't get online."
Tech Support: "Can you be more specific?"
Customer: "It says, 'Bad username/password'."
Tech Support: "What is your username?"
Customer: "Are you sure that the Internet isn't closed for the night?"

Link to fairly cool Flash movie...

....and a nice simple Snoopy baseball game

A few weeks back there were reports of tiny alien spaceships - big enough only for the tiniest of creatures. Now, discovered in Chile this week, can be found the story of a tiny humanoid creature complete with pictures and interviews. Not enough conspiracy theory though.

Design your own alien at TechnoSphere. It will live in the TechnoSphere world and eat, sleep, fight, and mate. You can keep track of how it competes and what it's children are up to. Pretty damn cool.

Aaaahhh..


The Kop

It was reported today that Victoria Beckham - "Posh Spice" - is attempting to stop Peterborough United FC from registering their nickname "Posh" as a trademark. Peterborough have been known as The Posh since they were formed in 1934. Read the story here. That one individual can challenge everyone else using a fairly common adjective as a nickname is frankly unbelievable. Associating the word posh with Mrs Beckham is of course now an irony - but I'm not sure if she realises it yet.

Build a cool looking PC (and exhibit your sadness).

Continuing the pussy theme, check out this Public Enemy/cats site then Panty Cat. And also the subtle find-a-vagina...



Other finds over this weekend include the mildly funny Chronicles of George, the pretty nifty bit-101 which is about Flash experimenting (I think it's pretty cool but I'm sad so you should decide for yourselves...), doggles, the site dedicated to canine sunglasses, and the most lo-fi online games of all time (and, typically, much better than 99% of other much more complex games). My record for the 50 yard dash is currently 6.92 seconds...

Also, with the bidding currently at $55,400, why not purchase a Russian MIG 21 Jet? Marvelous.

Inexplicable kung-fu cow

Hello to all the cat lovers out there. I am told that one of your number pointed a whole bunch of you towards me as I had listed lots of interesting cat sites. That entry can be found towards the bottom of last month's archive, although I am told that the bizarre and undoubtedly interesting cat-scan captured most of the interest and controversy. Further reading involves the site of the original cat-scan contest which led to the idea for the current cat-scan incarnation.

Thanks to Arseblog for putting me on the site. Currently there is a discussion there regarding whether football players ever look at fan sites on the Web. I reckon a few do, but probably don't feel as though they should come forward. I say this now: any professional footballer who is reading this should not be shy. Go on, leave a comment. You'll increase my traffic no end! Increase your cult status by tagging CTTM.... Hmm, well it's worth a try, but I won't hold my breath.

Bah. Still at work till Sunday. Hence me sitting here at 9pm on a Friday night. I have to go into work at 2.30am this coming morning. Grrrr! Oh well, at least I've been pointed towards the marvelous Lego meets Monty Python's Holy Grail movie.

Thanks to the retards who are the Daily Mail readers, the BBC poll for Great Britons is currently headed by..... Princess Diana.

I despair I really really do... My hatred for the Daily Mail continues. Extremist, cynical crap. It's not an anti-right thing - I don't agree with the Daily Telegraph's opinions, but I respect it as a paper. Well, in theory anyway. The Daily Mail is like a campaigning propaganda paper... always looking to fuck some poor bastard over. Its readers sent shit to the home address of a Lotto official after the Daily cunting Mail printed the poor bloke's home address in connection with a story about funding for a pro-immigration charity. Jesus...

Anyway, vote for your Great Briton here. I voted for Isaac Newton, with Mr Darwin narrowly missing out. Newton was a sad loser, but if this was a personality contest I would be voting for Eddie Izzard (and still not Diana).

Look at an amazing ariel shot of Etna's volcanic eruption in Sicily.

I'm currently doing working on a cricket match from Culcutta. This involves me starting work at 2.30am, hence the lack of activity here.

However I did get time to check out an excellent new shop in Soho called At The Movies.


Evil Clown Generator...